This morning

I woke up this morning thinking I would hate to be a ambassador called on to explain Orange's remarks. Then I realized what a wonderful oppurtunity this would be. I think it went something like this:


I'm sorry PM I can't explain my doofus, sorry president's remarks. What can I say? I didn't vote for the jackass. Neither did the majority of the country. I mean, he can't even read. Hell, I shouldn't even be here. Not because this country is a "shithole". It isn't. But because I'm only filler until my doo-president fills the post. Which he hasn't done because he is too busy golfing.


By the way, on the behalf of Americans who came from shithole countries, so the majority of Americans, I would like to present you with this small gift as an attempt to repair relations.


Yes, I know it's golf lessons. I want you, sir, madam, to be able to kick Orange - sorry my President's ugly ass on the golf. I want you to play 18 and hit 18 as Hawkeye said.


Yes, I pre-ordered Black Panther tickets too. It looks so kick ass.


While you winning at golf, at a Trump golf course, you should mention how much you enjoyed the wedding of Meghan and Harry. You and May had a wonderful chat too, before you went to your meeting with the Queen.


When you meet President Oran - Trump, you should shake his hand strongly and remark how relieved you are to have recovered from such and such illness in time for the visit. Then cough loudly. When he rushes to get soap, explain that skin color does not wash off, unlike fake spray on tans.


Don't forget to kneel during the anthem. And only ask for pie with four scoops of ice cream.


I know it won't solve anything PM, but it will make everyone happy when Trump's head expoldes.