Two of you (and you know who you are) owe me a BIG Drink with a Chaser -Review Part 1

Abducted by the Kraken - Tammy Black

The things you do for online friends.  I think my eyeballs will never forgive me.  This is the funny partof the review, a more detailed anaylsis will follow, as soon my eyeballs forgive me.

 

At least I didn't pay for it.

 

Emily has soft delicate hands (Loc 8)

 

 

So Slick (a guy) has something that "just gravitated every lady" (Loc 13).  He's Magneto? 

 

"despite how my jealousy"  - how your jealousy what?  Did jump jacks?  Flashed him?  Did the can-can?  (Loc 17)

 

Emily works at a bar where the wait staff can sit down and have drinks with customers, even when the place is packed.

 

I did not know that business cards had phone numbers on them.  OMG, when did that happen.  I must tell everyone.

 

"Bring on your best bikini"  - Bikini fight apparently. 

 

Emily's sex growls (Loc. 82)  Vagina dentata eat your heart out.  Emily's vagina is a pitbull on a leash.  (Which must make it rather hard to sit down).

 

Wait, no.  I had that wrong.  Emily's sex quivered.  So it is an arrow.  Does that mean she has a penis?

 

"women oozing with their silicon breasts" - I really can't describe what this does to my mind.

 

Emily drinks champagne and then something called champaign.

 

She also wears underwear under her bikini; under her throng bikini.

 

Review the second part: http://ethiercn.booklikes.com/post/791498/okay-grim-if-robocop-was-bad-you-can-just-buy-me-a-beer-review-part-2-