The things you do for online friends. I think my eyeballs will never forgive me. This is the funny partof the review, a more detailed anaylsis will follow, as soon my eyeballs forgive me.
At least I didn't pay for it.
Emily has soft delicate hands (Loc 8)
So Slick (a guy) has something that "just gravitated every lady" (Loc 13). He's Magneto?
"despite how my jealousy" - how your jealousy what? Did jump jacks? Flashed him? Did the can-can? (Loc 17)
Emily works at a bar where the wait staff can sit down and have drinks with customers, even when the place is packed.
I did not know that business cards had phone numbers on them. OMG, when did that happen. I must tell everyone.
"Bring on your best bikini" - Bikini fight apparently.
Emily's sex growls (Loc. 82) Vagina dentata eat your heart out. Emily's vagina is a pitbull on a leash. (Which must make it rather hard to sit down).
Wait, no. I had that wrong. Emily's sex quivered. So it is an arrow. Does that mean she has a penis?
"women oozing with their silicon breasts" - I really can't describe what this does to my mind.
Emily drinks champagne and then something called champaign.
She also wears underwear under her bikini; under her throng bikini.