Dear News

 I don't really care about George Clonney getting married.  I'm happy for him in a abstract type of a way because I guess it's cool that she isn't like 20 and she has a life (and she sounds cooler than him). But I really don't care.  Maybe if my vacation in Venice had been screwed because of it.


 I also don't care that Chelsea Clinton had a baby.


If you need soft news, how about telling me which new books are out or naked pics of good looking male actors for a change?  Hey, talking stars doing intersting things like speeches before the UN is fine.